soak it up

A break from all the fun with the film Robots. It's a cute one!

Most days I love staying home with my kids, but I admit the little stinkers bring with them a fair amount of absurdity. Sometimes I find that my cup overfloweth with nonsense. But the great thing about having a grandpa visit is that grandpas are nonsense sponges. They ooze their own fun and silliness while simultaneously absorbing all the excess foolishness around them. Hence, Nate and I managed to squeeze in an actual relaxed adult conversation on a walk down to the hardware store, while the tomfoolery ship trailed behind us with Cap'n Grandpa at the helm.

Sorting, playing with, and keeping track of Legos is another of a grandfather's many talents

Along our route, I noted that there were many edible plants, and I thought of Elle. I have been wanting to make salad from the greens that grow in public spaces, but what about dog pee? It seems to me that with all the dogs in our neighborhood, any leafy edible not growing in my fenced-in back yard would be anointed with animal urine. Perhaps it is a given that one should eat their own backyard weeds, but we seem to be lacking in them, possessing minimal dandelions, no violets or chickweed, nor any other weed that I can find. I'll check back in a week and see how it's going back there with the weeds.

In other backyard growth news, we have some seedlings at work now, and Vivi's fairy garden is looking splendid, as our our lilacs. They really are the best of flowers, so fragrant and hopeful.

Our entire fence line looks like this. Thank you previous owners!

Tomorrow is the raising of the big playhouse, and I have pinned all my hopes of relaxing out of doors on its ability to entertain/babysit the girls, so I'll let you know how that works out for us.

Strawberries, lettuce, future fennel, and mint. We will also do tomatoes, carrots, and maybe potatoes.

So, tell me, how does your garden grow?

xoxo
~J

we can improve upon this

I made what is hopefully going to be an improvement to the blog by removing the Disqus commenting feature. I had heard from quite a few people that it wasn't working right, and from my end I noticed that about every fifth comment would disappear for no apparent reason before I could reply. Not deleted, just gone. So I hope if you found it frustrating to comment before that you will do it now. Okie dokie?

This change to the blog got me thinking about other life changes I and others could make. Vivi has been trying to quit the thumb-sucking habit for some time now. Her most recent goal was to quit by her fifth birthday so she could wear nail polish. When that day came and went, she announced "Oh well! I guess we can try again next year." Noooooo!! We've been told by just about every child development professional that we should avoid negativity where the thumb is concerned and make only gentle reminders, but Reader, it is so hard. Any advice here is heartily appreciated.

In return for my gentle suggestions to Vivi, I've allowed her to comment freely on my slouching problem. Who knows if it's a habit developed from my embarrassment over being the tallest by a foot in eighth grade, my desire to go unnoticed in the public school system, or if I just have weak stomach muscles or something, but I slouch...A LOT. If you know me, you are already aware of this problem, along with the fact that I have a funny gait. I saunter, in fact. Imagine, if you will, a mash-up of Goofy and Meg Ryan, and maybe throw in a dash of Olive Oyl. Can you picture it? That is my amble. I am not in any hurry, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't be even if I wanted to.

Some people have notedly tried to help me out with my funny walk by offering me some tips:

"Stick your chest out, like you want men to notice you!"
No thank you.

"Try pilates!"
Um, what?

"You have shin splints because you run so damn weird."
Thanks, Coach.

[When discussing silly walks, are you already picturing Monty Python? Me too!]

So yeah, I could stand up a bit straighter. I think that will be my new self-improvement project. Where's Henry Higgins when you need him, amirite ladies?

Oh, and I'll also add "Stop yelling in the tone of a shrill siren wail" to that edification list. It is so un-lady-like and generally embarrassing. What would you change about yourself if you could?

Reading a book with a grandparent while sucking her thumb might be her all-time favorite activity.

did you ever know that you're my hero? {Updated}

I've been coming up with lots of ideas for what I could write about, but I am actually more interested to know what you're doing. Did you know that, when I write "So, what's going on with you?" I actually want to know what's happening with you? Like, for real. Even if I don't know you in person, I would like to have a chat. So if you're cleaning your refrigerator or petting your cat while you read, I am genuinely interested in finding that out. This means you, Dad.

Update: Ask and you shall receive! I got quite a few messages this morning that Disqus is not working right. Geez, you guys, thanks so much for letting me know. I still don't like Blogger comments, but for now it will be what I'm using. Try it out for me? Thanks!

Moving on from begging, I will share a bit of what's we're up to today. A shipment of two giant boxes arrived in our mudroom. They are waiting for Grandpa Dave's arrival tomorrow so he and Nate can assemble a backyard cedar playhouse for the girls. Meanwhile, our entryway smells delightfully of a cedar chest. I suggested to Vivi that they girls could color the outside of the boxes with crayons, and she enthusiastically replied, "Let's design some plans for this art project." Future engineer?

In other tales of household heroism, Mom and I planned and hung a gallery wall in our stairwell when she was in town. I am quite pleased with how it turned out. Care to take a gander?

The wall on the right is going to have some of its photos swapped, but even empty frames are a huge upgrade from what was there (i.e. nothing). Some of these shots I will leave, though, like the ones professionally taken and all the B&Ws. Others, like the flowers (left over from a years-ago failed nursery project) will be swapped with more chic landscapes. More of England, perhaps? Here, have a closer look:

Right now it has a funky mixture of B&W, sepia, and colors. I'd prefer B&W with red accents, but maybe this is one of those projects where you step back and chew on some hay for a minute before you make changes. Do you have any first impressions to share?

My favorite is the opposite wall, with its mostly symmetrical layout and matching colors.

I need to get a magic eraser for those pencil marks. And where's that personal assistant I ordered?

Mom laid the whole planned display on the floor first, which helped tremendously with placement. Is this a well known decorating trick? I have tried it before, but she added the element of snapping a photo, which was key in avoiding confusion once half the frames were hung.

At one point as I was standing on the old rickety wood ladder, precariously nailing hardware, I noticed a sign on the ladder that reads "This unit is not meant to be used separately." Ha. Fear of heights aside, I found the whole experience completely fulfilling. Productivity provides its own brand of endorphins, I suppose. I just wish I could be as productive all the time as I am when visitors are around, especially my mom, who is the doer of all doers. Therein lies the rub, since most of our visitors probably want to do other things than assist my home improvement exploits.

Perhaps I can lure you over with a glass of white wine. You can sit on the stairs and direct where and how my photo swapping should occur, and I'll do the labor. Deal?

details

Even as I began making some plans the other day for what I would do this week and remarked to myself "I don't have that much going on!," I knew it wouldn't last. Either because of jinxing myself or because life has a way of filling in the gaps, my moment of freedom was short-lived. I got a migraine followed in quick succession by Charlie catching a 24-hour vomit virus. Luckily no one else in the family caught it, but the laundry required by one child during such a night is astonishing. It really makes me pity the people who don't have nearly industrial-sized front-loading washers waiting in their basements to do their sick clean-up bidding.

We're all back in good spirits now, and I've returned to the sorting of the cold-weather and warm-weather clothes. This routine has a method: I find some clothes I truly hate--they seem to materialize out of nowhere, no?--and I stack them in the corner. Then when I come across an item I'm not sure I want to keep, I go over to the stack and sit the item on top. Immediately, I get a gut reaction that is either "Gross, it belongs there" or "Quick, pick it up, or it will be gone!" The key is that you actually have to walk it physically over to the stack, don't just let it hang in the closet or sit in the drawer. The other key is you can't listen to your brain's hasty protests, like "I might wear these jeans to paint the house!" The irrational hoarding part of your brain doesn't know what it's talking about, for you will be far happier without the clutter than you would be if you kept those ugly jeans. I'm sharing my tip with Works for Me Wednesday, though I'm not sure this trick would work for anyone but me. But there you have it. Use it if you will.

So I guess I'm just checking in with the deets, but there's not too much happening over here. What's going on with you? Fill me in!

Yesterday we went on an impromptu picnic after picking up Vivi from school. We sat in the grass under a cherry tree and ate our store-bought tuna wraps in quiet satisfaction. Life burgeons all around us, and as happens so often to me as a mom, I want this moment to last forever. I try to stuff down that guilty feeling I get, wondering if I am enjoying them enough, because it is not a helpful feeling, and because I don't think that part of me will ever be satisfied that I am truly relishing them as I should be. I get the same feeling about the spring blossoms; when I see them, I am both happy and guilty, somehow believing I am supposed to be getting a greater appreciation of them than just the joy I get in seeing them when I pass by.

I watch the girls frolicking in the woods, giggling because they spied a ladybug, and I am struck by how little they look. Satisfied they are still my babies, I turn my attention toward the sun and lie in the grass, eyes closed, to soak it in. Just at that moment and not a second later, Vivi yells "Mommy, my tooth is almost all the way out!," thus breaking my brief truce with the marching of time. Of course her tooth would fall out now. Despite my silent protests, it seems they will keep growing.

I am not one to quote poetry often, but my resignation to life's continual passing brings to mind that Virgil poem Georgics from which we get the phrase "Tempus fugit." Here it is:

Sed fugit interea,

Fugit irreparabile tempus, 

Singula dum capti circumvectamur amore.

But meanwhile it flees: 

Time flees irretrievably,

While we wander around, prisoners of our love of detail.

on the range {week 18}: updated

{On the Range} is my weekly series where I discuss what we're doing, reading, and eating. It's a little bit 52 project and other photo projects, and a little bit {Did you Read?} and {In the Ranger Kitchen}.

On the Range

April 30 - May 6, 2013

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week in 2013."

I can't claim credit for my post title today. My aunt has a framed photo of herself and her sister as little girls, and she wrote a variation of this sentence below it. It always made me chuckle as a kid, even the thousand and fortieth time I read it, so I've been dying to steal it ever since.

Update: So, apparently it's not a good idea to use certain words in your post title, for they attract p*rn sites. Thus, I removed a sentence in my title that said "A coupla [warm baby birds] standing around." Except I didn't way "warm baby birds" but other words that mean the same thing as those words. You got me? Sheesh, the stuff you learn blogging. It could fill a house. Or at the very least a single-wide trailer.


Milestones

• Vivi came inside after playing to tell me with a serious look on her face..."Mommy, I've realized something. Bubbles are not fantastic, they are terrible and not fun. AND a mess." Then she showed me her hands, which she then proceeded to wash carefully after throwing away the bubble stuff. Is she her father's child or what? Ha! The whole scene makes me giggle every time I think about it again.
• Charlotte is a common name up here, as is the nickname "Charlie" for boys, so one way I like to distinguish my Charlie is to give her lots of other nicknames. Chuck is my personal favorite (did you ever see that short-lived program, Pushing Daisies?). Lotti is not really that cute in my opinion, but it's fun when you add something to it, like Lotti McSniffles when she's sick. I change it up for added interest, like Chuckles McFussyBritches when she's tantruming. Vivi's been playing around with it too, but the other day she said something like "Charlie McFuckles," totally by accident of course, and I still haven't recovered from all the laughing. 
• My little brother turns 20 today. If that doesn't make you feel old, I dunno what will. Happy birthday bro!

Media

• You can't spit without running into a fairy garden these days. They are the terrariums of 2013. But who cares? They are awesome! Whatever gets my kid in the dirt is ok by me. One of my favorite how-tos is this one by Beth of Remarkably Domestic. I think the pipe is too much for me, but I'm all for grouting some rocks onto an old pot I have lying around. Cute, huh?
• Do you love IKEA as much as me? If so, you will love this Apt Therapy article compiling ideas for hacking their furniture to create cute stuff for your kids. I wish I were that crafty.
• I'm not sure if this LA Times story would have always made me so steaming mad or if it's partly because I just got done re-reading Lee's novel. I mean, really, the nerve of people! Will we never live down the stories of old people being swindled by snaky men? Let's hope she gets herself an Atticus-worthy attorney.
• Yet another reason to love Jenny Lawson, cuz she ain't gonna let no door tell her what to do.
• I am so glad I know better than to "birthday jack" Facebook posts about my kid turning 5. So creepy. If this ever changes, friends, you know what to do. 

Meals

• Beef vegetable soup
• I tried a new thing at Trader Joe's, which doesn't happen often. They are called aloo chaat kati, found in the frozen meal section, and they look like Indian hot pockets--except they are way more delicious. Like the samosas at TJ's, it's a vegetarian meal that is greasy enough that it satisfies me the way eating meat does--no easy feat in my mind.
• In the interest of full meal disclosure, I had not one but two bowls of Trader Joe's mango sorbet last night, with coconut sprinkled on top. So yummy.

Vivi's laissez-faire birthday party

The little dears have finally moved away from the age when a group photo involves children standing higgledy piggledy and wizz wuzz all over the place to the age when they put their arms around each other and smile. Or pout, as it may be, but look at the camera all the same.

If you know me only through the blog and not in person, it is possible I have not communicated to you the extent to which my elder child ADORES having a birthday. This little human schemes and hatches her party plans year-round. Some days she wants a Batman rainbow unicorn cake, and some days she wants to go to a water park (dear God why), but the universal components are friends and food. I like that she understands the important aspects of party-planning and doesn't get bogged down in details, which allows me lots of wiggle room.

For me, it is important that party-planning and execution be simple and relaxed. A core element of my personality is that I can't be bothered to fuss when entertaining guests. Adding a secondary layer to my character onion, I think all the focus on children's birthdays has become bananas, and I refuse to take part. The expense, the cheap plastic crap, the stress. What are we teaching our children? I won't go into details since it's a well-covered topic, but I will share my favorites of others who have covered it, e.g. UMN Birthdays without Pressure, a Boston Mamas article, and a Minimalist Parenting article.

Thus, about three weeks before Vivi's fifth birthday, I started running the potential itinerary by her, and darned if she didn't accept all my ideas graciously and even enthusiastically, bless her. I enjoyed sharing her party last year (see my original post and/or when it was featured on Apartment Therapy), so I thought I'd share the party details again this year.


Genevieve's laissez-faire fifth birthday party

The Planning

Going off our rule from years past, she was allowed to invite 5 friends, one per year of age (plus siblings. Poor Charlie had to endure a confusing moment when Vivi said "You don't count at my birthday, Charlie." Her pouty bottom lip will slay you). She has two best friends at school, so I cleared some possible dates with the moms ahead of time, figuring if they couldn't be there, it wouldn't be worth having a party at all. Really, this kid is a fiercely loyal friend.

The Activities

I knew from last year that 2 hours was a good amount of party time and that we only needed one or two scheduled activities. A few months ago, her grandparents gave her and C tie-dyed t-shirts from their island vacation, and she was enamored with the dye process as I explained it from my summer camp days, so I knew we had settled on a good activity with tie-dying shirts.

Tie-dying might be good for older kids, but for five-year-olds, it was mostly me & moms doing all the work. Meh.

Because we normally plan her party close to Cinco de Mayo (giving me a good excuse to serve my favorite snacks, salsa and guacamole), I mentioned to a friend we might get a piñata, and she told me about this great kind with ribbons the kids pull instead of beating it to death a la Steve Martin. Sold!

An activity we didn't do that I still love the idea of is to get an old big white sheet for a picnic, and then when everyone's done eating, give the kids fabric pens and let them draw on the sheet. What fun that would be!

The Food

On the morning of her party, I did a quick shopping trip to our local farm and Trader Joe's to get everything except the avocados and kiwis, which I purchased a few days ahead to give them time to ripen. The kiwis are part of another birthday tradition I started with her last year, which is to buy her exotic fruit. She gets to watch it ripen all week, which just adds another layer to birthday excitement.

I got veggies and strawberries at the farm (a rare time for us to buy out of season). At TJ's, I bought all of the other party stuff: that tray of four kinds of hummus, a bunch of various chips and salsas, and brownie bites and lemon squares. For refreshments, Nate got beer and hard cider (an elderflower type from Angry Orchard, so good), and I got a bunch of those fancy sparkling juices from TJ's. The kids had a big serve-yourself juice container of watered down pink lemonade.

As for the dessert, we have noticed she doesn't love birthday cake but obsessively craves ice cream, so I brought up the idea of an ice cream sundae bar. YES YES YES! I knew at that point we were all set. The kiwis and strawberries went into a bowl, and the brownie bites and lemon squares in another bowl, to serve alongside the ice cream sundaes. Thanks to my mom, who bought Vivi some cooking supplies at Christmas, we already had a bunch of fancy sprinkles to go on top. Oh, and I got the ice cream and mini cones in bulk at the supermarket for cheap a few weeks ago and stashed them in the basement chest freezer I love dearly.

The Party

When the guests arrived, the kids ran around the backyard playing with our hastily purchased dollar store accoutrement, sidewalk chalk and butterfly nets. Watching them enjoy the unscheduled play time, I realized that even with short activities, I was still over-orchestrating the whole event. Next year I'm filling up the galvanized wash tub with water and bubbles and putting some tea pots and cups out there, and I have no doubt it will be enough. You should have seen them chase each other around the yard with those nets, trying to nab their friend's heads instead of bugs. The parent crowd eyed each other, shrugged, and passed around more food and drinks. Three cheers for good friends!

After-Party Run-Down

Here's another party tip: have the right adults present. I had fretted over the possibility of Vivi getting a bunch of crap we don't need for her gifts and pondered the idea of telling them not to bother ("Your presence is the present" kind of thing), but in the end I opted to let them make their own decisions, and it worked out perfectly! All the gifts she got were thoughtful and not what I would call a waste of resources. A fairy garden, a date to paint pottery, and some retro games like a Jacob's ladder. As time goes on, I am more convinced that all I need to do to raise good kids is to surround myself with a good tribe. The rest of the details fall into place on their own, if I have the courage to let go.

Tie dye was a bit of a mess. The kids were into it for about three minutes, until they realized the moms were doing most of the heavy lifting, and then they slowly wandered off. It was nice to be able to send everyone home with a t-shirt, but it wasn't an expected addition so I wouldn't do it again.

The ribbon piñata was fun in that it's much easier and more civil to have the children take turns without having them blindfolded, dizzy, and swinging a heavy bat, but I will tell you that the ribbons did not make the dang thing open. In the end, Nate still had to do the Dad Maneuver (sans wood saw, fortunately) and rip it apart.

To my surprise, the kids didn't dive in and elbow each other to get candy; they were all first-timers, so most stood there with dazed expressions, except for one girl who wisely grabbed a butterfly net and shoved it under the ladybug just in time to catch the spilled candy guts. I high-fived her mom for raising such a practical kid. My mom found these adorable peanut butter and jelly wallets on sale, so we let the kids put their piñata score in them, and I counted those and the tie-dye shirts as "goody bags."

I'm repeating myself with this last party rule, but it's worth saying again, as it is probably the most crucial element: invite a close friend of family member you can boss around, preferably of the female species. Of all the days I say "I wish I had a wife," the day of a party is the day I most need a clone. Last year we had my friend Liza, who stepped in beautifully to pull off the Spiderman (and Spiderwoman!) cookie cakes. This year my mom agreed to come and help wrangle, and I couldn't have done it without her. You want her and Liza on your party-planning team. Thanks Mom!

my love affair with England

Did I mention yet that I think I'll try writing every day this month? Next month I'll be taking a vacation from regular life, and it will likely be from the blog as well, so I thought I'd send off with a month of daily posts. Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

When we lived in England, I didn't write nearly enough on the blog about what daily life was like. I chalk it up to typical me in my twenties. "Life will always be this interesting and therefore why bother talking about what I'm doing?" or something along those lines.

Now of course I see my lack of writing as a bunch of wasted material. From time to time, I think about sharing that journey with you, but it seems awkward to bring it up randomly. Hey guys, remember when I used to live overseas that time five years ago? Let's talk about it!

But now I have my nose in another Jane Austen novel, at the same time as I'm reading a biography about the great William Morris and watching a Masterpiece version of Emma that I rented from the library (did I mention I'm obsessed with Victorian England?), so my travels have been rattling around in my mind. It seems like as good a time as any to bring it up with y'all.

Oh, first I want to mention the Masterpiece Emma. Have you seen it yet? I'm enjoying it so far. It has the naturally slow pace of a Masterpiece series, and it's fun to see all the usual British suspects playing the beloved Austen characters. Who doesn't want to see more of Johnny Lee Miller? So far, the most interesting distinction from the Gwyneth Paltrow film (an absolute favorite of mine, likely in the top 10) is the spotlight on Miss Bates. She was a bubbly caricature in the film, providing little more than comic relief--"PORK, Mother!" and such. But in this series, you get an in-depth look at how miserable her life must have been to have only her senile mother as a companion. You truly feel what Austen must have wanted us to see. A woman without fortune was certainly pitiable in that day.

In contrast, I don't think it's possible for an actor to improve the job Juliet Stevenson did with Mrs. Elton in the film version. I'll share some pictures with you to honor my favorite of her lines, "People with extensive grounds are always so pleased to meet other people with extensive grounds." Here here!

I miss living somewhere that there were other tiny towns a half kilometer away.

This one makes me tear up thinking of how perfect and calm my life was in England, nesting for my new life as a mom and taking in all the sights and smells of spring.

One part of the Masterpiece Emma I loved is seeing the fields of rapeseed again (the stuff that makes canola oil, with the worst name imaginable). They are so lovely you can't look upon them without smiling. Add this to the list of things you want to see before your time is up.

The year we were in England, it seemed the fields burst into life the very same day as Genevieve, so I also always think of her when I see them.

Here are some from far away. Cool, huh?

What do you think, should I write more about England some time? I have many more pics I can share.

in with the new

Spring is finally here to stay. With it came all the bargain shopping experiences you know I love. Negotiating ain't my thing, but if the price is set, I'll buy--and the last hour when everything is half price is fun too.

This weekend was my church's rummage sale, which is always a favorite. The children's book section is where I make a bee-line during the volunteer pre-sale. Check out some of these "awwww"-inducing finds:

Last year I volunteered during sale week by marking prices on breakables, but not being a tchotchke collector, I was worried I did it badly and found the experience stressful. This year I stuck with sales, which I liked because it involved talking to people. I met lots of the congregation who come to the 11am service. They all sized me up to be a 9am-er, "because all you 9am-ers have small kids."Yup.

The hardest part about sales was the rush at the end of the half-price sale. Everyone seems to assume you will give stuff away for nearly free just to get them out of your hair and because you don't want to cart the goods off to charity. They are mostly correct in this assumption, but I must tell you a hard truth. This segment of society--who haggle with volunteers at a rummage sale from which the proceeds go to a good cause--they weren't raised right by their mamas. My fellow fraught cashier could be heard a time or two exasperatedly bristling, "Oh all right, have it your way." I just laughed because laughter is how I handle awkward folks. Well, laughter and judgmental blog posts.

The adult book section--by that I mean books for grown-ups, not of the three-x variety--also had some great finds, so I think my summer reading selection is nearly complete. I put it up on Goodreads in case you're on there too and want to follow along or comment. If you're an avid reader and not yet on Goodreads, check it out! The combined inventions of GR and Pinterest mean I almost never miss a book recommendation these days.

Would you count Faulkner and James as summer reads, though? Hmmm, perhaps not. What do you have on your current book list?

p.s. I've already read Stumbling on Happiness, but I gave it away years ago and thought I could use a refresher. Do you give away books you liked? I can't handle clutter, so I find it's easier for me to get the book again later from the library or a used book sale than it is to lug it around for years. If I keep it, I just end up resenting it gathering dust. Plus, giving it away means I get to share book-love, which is one of my favorite life activities!

p.p.s. I admit that pic above of the books isn't great to show off the titles, but I wanted to squeeze in my other new purchase. That little bowl on the left is also a find from the church sale. Three bucks! I've been looking for a bowl for all the cell phone hoopla, and this one fits the bill nicely, doncha think? Here's a better shot of the books:

leaning in to road rage

I am writing a post about the fifth birthday party scene, but I must pause first and tell you separately what happened to me yesterday. I've begun listening to Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead while I carpool the kids to various shindigs, and it gives me a nice pep talk in the car. Some parts I disagree with (e.g. "50% of men should stay home with their children." What the what? Do we really want a society in which this happens? Just, no.), but I am enjoying her anecdotes from the workplace. She describes many incidents in which women colleagues demur for no apparent reason at all or are shushed by men when trying to speak. I have definitely politely demurred to men in my office. But no more! Watch out world, another feminist is being let loose.

So I'm having another pep talk on the way to school yesterday morning, and I'm pondering the ways in which I put myself second on a regular basis. Bear with me while I set the scene, I am going somewhere. To get to Vivi's school, I drive from one exit to the next on a little access road that follows our highway. It's a quick drive down this access road and gets me to my destination a full 3-4 minutes faster than the back roads, and the only minor annoyance is when I meet with the ramp coming off the highway. The access road has two lanes, and I use the left lane because I make a left turn at the exit. The ramp off the highway also feeds into this left lane, and because I am already in the lane and there is no yield sign, I assume I have the right-of-way. Note that when I am the one coming down the ramp, I slow way down and make sure no one is already in that lane before I merge. But most a$$holes do not do this slow-down maneuver. Instead, they barrel through at the same speed they were driving on the highway and expect you to slow or swerve out of their way.

But today, Reader, I did not demur. I saw a big honkin' truck coming down the ramp, but I continued on my merry way ahead of him, chin held high, blaring Sheryl Sandburg at full volume. This man did not want to yield and continued playing chicken for a minute, but I knew he saw me and would slow down eventually. But Oh ho ho! What I didn't know is that he would then lay on his horn, swerve into the right lane, roll his window down (this was a nice morning so we all had windows down), and scream--in plain view of my two small innocent lambs--"Learn how to drive, BITCH!" and THEN cut me off and slam on his brakes.

Reader, it was at this exact minute that I had an epiphany.

The road is not the place to lean in. There are, in fact, probably lots of locations where it's wise--for either safety or sanity's sake--to step back and let the boys do their thang. Even if their thang happens to be screaming at pretty ladies on the highway. From now on, I'll be taking my Sandburg in smaller doses, and never on the highway.

Have you read her book yet? What did you think? If you're a woman, do you feel like you demur to men's opinions or their place at the table? I think I do, but I'm not sure it's such a bad thing. I mean, they need the big piece of chicken, right? Let's chat about this stuff, ladies.

I have no photo to go with this post, so here's me showing my bud the b-day party tie-dye battle scars.

{five}

Genevieve turned five years old this week. For some reason, five seems like a huge milestone. Perhaps it's because I remember turning five myself...or rather, I remember the dreaded booster shot in the hiney. These kids today have no clue how fortunate they are that they can forgo this exercise in humiliation. But as I was saying, five is a huge birthday, and I'm hanging on for what is sure to be a wild ride of a year.

I'll write more soon about the birthday party, but for today here is my yearly letter to sweet Vivi.


Dear Genevieve,

Over the past year, I've seen your four-year-old personality continue to develop, and much of what I said last year applies to you this year as well. It's an extraordinary journey to be invited to witness the cultivation of your marvelous self. Mostly, I feel like you are molding me instead of the other way around. A new friend exclaimed, "Vivi's face lights up at EVERYTHING. How wonderful!," and I couldn't agree more. Here are some of my favorite of your qualities:

:: keen eye for detail :: You have a precise and discerning regard, and you can often be heard from the backseat reminding me, "Mommy, it's faster to go the other way to the library, remember?" What would I do without your help in getting where I want to go in life? Your keen eye extends to the fashion world too, and your nose crinkles when I attempt in my own fumbling manner to broaden your clothing horizons outside your limiting criteria of 1) pink, or 2) leggings (see also: ruffles). To your credit, this spring you are stepping out in frocks of blue and green (praiseallujah).

:: leadership potential :: What others might call bossiness, I see as the leader in you exploding forth. You direct the operations of many a household task or sisterly game, and I wouldn't choose any other executor as my partner (with the one exception of your daddy). I hope you seek an opportunity to lead a team as an adult, for you will make a heck of a chief. May your brave quest to lead both men and women happen without or in spite of the limitations that both genders seek to put on women who lead my generation.

:: sharp wit :: You've become a lover of Shel Silverstein already, and you laugh heartily throughout his poems. I'm thrilled to share a sense of humor with you. Your expansive vocabulary grows ever greater, and your hunt for information is nearly unparalleled in my experience (your schoolmate Jacob vies for first place in this area, asking his grandmother today, "How was Europe formed?").

:: tender heart :: When I asked you if you wanted to make your grandpa a birthday card, you said "Yes! But I'm going to need a really big card because there are going to be lots of hearts." I hope you will maintain your loving nature and with it, your ability to bring even the shiest of friends into the fold with your patient and kind ways. You are a genuine people lover, and I feel lucky to be loved by you.

:: endeavorous spirit :: Endeavorous is not a word, although I'd like to make it a new one for you because I feel it sums you up so well. You are willing and even excited to try new things, whether they be activities, sports, or food. You encourage our whole family to experiment with your love of life. Thank you for being a stupendous individual.

Love,
Mommy

Teaching Charlie to play baseball. 

on the range {week 17}: in the dirt

{On the Range} is my weekly series where I discuss what we're doing, reading, and eating. It's a little bit 52 project and other photo projects, and a little bit {Did you Read?} and {In the Ranger Kitchen}.

On the Range

April 23 - 29, 2013

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week in 2013."

My week...

• Has been spent with the front door open. As a way of explaining my absence--apart from celebrating the queen's fifth birthday and the visit of a much-missed mother--note exhibit A below:

Media

• All of my library holds arrived in the same week (does this happen to you?), so I now have in my possession a stack of books that make me out to be more intelligent than deserved. They are:
• A Victorian rebel: the life of William Morris by...somebody I can't remember
• Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
• Lean In: women, work, and the will to lead (the sound recording) by Sheryl Sandburg
• The Sound and the Fury & As I lay Dying by William Faulkner
• Persuasion (annotated version) by Jane Austen (and the annotator, name I can't recall)
• Mom and I watched a few episodes of "Bored to Death" the past few nights, and I chuckled a lot out loud, which is my only requirement of 30-minute programming. I recommend it if you can find it at your library.

I'm going now to catch up on the blogs, since all I could manage in the past week is Elle's hilarious portrayal of the horseshittery (her word, stolen by yours truly) of fellow parents. Her mordant humor slays me. Also, I wish I could say I've been cooking, but apart from cranking out Dutch babies by the armful, I've been on a heat-and-serve kick. Must be all that spring fever. 

What have y'all been up to while I've been gone? Do tell of your doings, lovelies.